From FLANSBURGH'S queve to yours: the week of August 30th-September 4th
I have to be to work in a half an hour and although I have many interesting HBBWM blogs I'd like to post, they're still in the final stages of being revamped...so inspired by a discussion with Sancho Paige this morning and then seeing my fat 23 pound cat, Flansburgh (i.e. Burgler, Burg, Flans, Asshole) strutting around, I have created a list...well, Flansburgh has created his list of movies you should place on your queve.
(and I promise you, to return to more serious topics in the near future, such as "We Look to you, Matt Damon" and "Why we Women fall for the guy in the wheelchair.")
1.) Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (Voice: Michael J. Fox, 1993) Sally Field as Sassy the cat gets Flansburg hot and bothered!
2.) National Velvet (Elizabeth Taylor, 1944) Flansburgh enjoys the classics just as anyone else does.
3.) An American Tail (Don Bluth, 1986) Flansburgh particularly enjoys the giant Cat balloon that scares half of the mice to death. There will be no cats in America? Flansburgh thinks not, bitches!
4.) The AristoCats (Disney, 1970) Flansburgh becomes spellbound by singing of cats in extremely high octaves.
5.) Jaws (Roy Schinder, 1975. Dir: Steven Spielberg) Because when Flansy dreams, he dreams of being a 2 ton shark.
Another weekly list I'd like to keep up with: Having to do with current movies coming out that you should consider spending your 12.00 and change on instead of Final Destination 17 or Glee 3D....ugh. Culture yourself people or we shall be doomed to forever to sit in the cesspool of Hollywood muck!
For the week of August 23rd-
We Were Here (2011) A reflective and insightful look at the arrival and impact of AIDS epidemic in the San Francisco community. It's chilling just to watch the trailer and see the struggles of these everyday people fight the odds of this terrible disease.
The Rum Diary (2011) Johnny Depp returns to the realm of Hunter S. Thompson, where I believe he delivers his best and finest performances. The trailer has me pumped and excited by this latest adaptation.
Griff the Invisible (2011) This one was a random, but lucky find during my daily hunts on IMDB. Ryan Kwanten of True Blood fame stars as a office worker by day, superhero by night who meets a scientist who believes in the impossible. Kwanten is amazing, yes I said it, amazing on True Blood playing a dumb hick with a golden heart, and returns to his Australian roots in what seems like an awesome romantic comedy.
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) If anything, you must see a Tilda Swinton performance before you perish from this Earth, and if that sounds a little melodramatic, than so be it. She is one of the BEST actresses of our generation and is truly underrated. She plays a mother of a teenage boy who goes on a killing spree and her reflections and dealings with the crime.
Yes you were princess,
frizzy and cute
But you're comic timing and the fact that you got to work with Julie Andrews
made me want to puke.
You were Enchanting as Ella as you sang and danced,
but really watching you, made me want to poop my pants.
In Brokeback Mountain, you cried over your gay husband
Oh, woe for you.
Your face looks like my Daddy's 13 inch shoe.
I tried to like you, really I did,
But I watched those children as they hid
from your witch like cackle on
the Oscars, damn what a debacle.
Even James Franco decided to get high.
Don't you know when it's time to say goodbye?
Become a zookeeper or a nurse.
Drive a freakin hearse.
Buy a condo in Rhode Island and
get really fat on Easy Cheese
I'm sorry I don't mean to be mean.
But really, you get to be Catwoman now too?
I'd punch myself in the face if I were you.
You're too pretty enough, you need to get busted.
What the hell were you thinking, to work with Kate Hudson?
Ok, I confess, maybe I'm a tad bit jealous and may have cross the line.
You have nice teeth, and I'm sure are very kind...
But seriously, that part in One Day had my name all over it
and your English accent really bit...
and your not worthy to touch Jim Sturgess' lips!
Don't you know he can really sing and dance
while you go and make another tired Jane Austen romance?
Geesh, if I were only you...
I'd find my Daddy's shoe and beat myself until I was black and blue.
For, try as I may, I really don't like you....
(Ok, I do like Becoming Jane, only because it's a great movie to put on while cleaning the house...and really, I'm sure she's very nice. I wouldn't hit her with a shoe.)
Although I have just gotten really pumped about this...
We'll have to wait for Machine Gun Preacher to actually come out in theatres.
But for now: In light of the summer coming to a close here are 5 summer-ish movies you should check out, and if you have already...watch them again, damn it.
1.) The Rocketeer (Billy Campbell. Dir: Joe Johnston, 1991) Before Joe Johnston made this, he made a little Disney film called The Rocketeer, and although it had a most excellent story, beautiful score, charming characters (Jennifer Connelly in her cute baby fat stage, post Labyrinth) and amazing inspiration from Comic Book creator, Dave Stevens, it wasn't so hot at the box office. Well, it's time to relive the magic, folks. Get the kids and hunker down to watch a very cool, very fun movie. And if The Rocketeer doesn't remind you of Captain America, then you're not watching close enough.
2.) The Count of Monte Cristo (Guy Pierce. Dir: Kevin Reynolds, 2002) If you must, read the book before seeing the movie, or even see the 1934 version staring Robert Donat, but for some good action, adventure, romance, and wit, this will truly please you. Reynolds is known for directing Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and pretty much takes the techniques he used successful for Robin Hood in Monte Cristo, except this time the acting is hard core awesomeness, guided by Jim Caviezel...before he became Jesus and then disappeared off the Hollywood radar.
3.) Ghostbusters (Bill Murary. Dir: Ivan Reikman, 1984) 1984! Damn, what a classic and I know you've seen it already but it's such a delight popping it back into your DVD player or dare I say it, VCR. I was puzzled to why my man, Sancho Paige gave me this movie on my birthday a while back. Come to find out it was a secret love I didn't know I had. I quote Ghostbusters on weekly basis!
"Human sacrifice...cats and dogs living together...mass hysteria!"
" Ray, when someone asks you if you are a God, you say YES!"
"Are you the gatekeeper?" "Yes, actually he's a friend of mine, he asked me to meet you here."
"Mother pus bucket!"
I could keep going...
4.) The Majestic (Jim Carrey. Dir: Frank Darabont 2001) Before Zombies from The Walking Dead, Darabont had a vision and turned many Stephen King stories into gems including the beautiful The Shawshank Redemption, bittersweet The Green Mile, and The Mist. (because even though the movie is iffy, then ending is pure balls to the wall). He also directed The Majestic, a little sidelines ode to It's A Wonderful Life and the golden age of the silver screen. It was also probably Jim Carrey's finest (and last) piece of work, in my opinion. Even if you don't like Carrey, the movie is definitely worth a viewing.
5.) The Stand (Gary Sinise. Dir: Mick Harris. 1994) Every summer I attempt to read a Stephen King novel. Two years ago it was a revisit to Bag of Bones. Last year it was Salem's Lot. (awesome!) and this year, just perfect with my latest blog about the evolution of horror films, I am reading the mammoth opus known as The Stand, written at the height of King's reign over the literary world. Now, because it's so dated and I've seen the miniseries, I didn't think that I would be scared to read the book. But man, when you're at the beach reading about some killer flu and someone near you sneezes...it really plays some tricks with you. Also, for those in my generation, you may remember those summers when Stephen King miniseries were a common, if not anticipated television events. It, The Tommyknockers, The Shinning and The Stand were all made in the 90's. The Stand sticking out as far as I'm concerned as the best of the bunch with it's all star cast. Lieutenant Dan and Molly Ringwald (yes!), Ozzie Davis and Rob Lowe being all sexy as a deaf mute. Even King himself had a role. Four parts over the course of four weeks and each segment more satisfying than the last. Sure, it's dated, and sure it's cheesy. (The Devil has a mullet...) but it was a well laid out story and paved the way for many of the silly "virus" films springing up today. If you've got about eight hours to spare, you've got yourself a great time.
Good afternoon, audience of 1+1...I'm here today to scare the s%@t out of you, but not with ghosts, Freddy Kruger or demonic leprechauns....no no no, the big thing these days is Contamination.....but first let me explain...
I am fascinated with the evolution of the horror movie within modern day culture, particularly American culture. I even wrote a paper for it in my Politics in the Media class I took at University of North Carolina, (the very best class I have ever taken in my life) entitled "Bon Vomitif: Exploring torture in contemporary horror films and television as social-political entertainment." Sounds pretty kick ass huh? It definitely needs polishing but it did ignite a sort of obsession for me involving horror movies and our response to them as a society.
Sexual frustration, the breakdown of the nuclear family model and fear of feminism inspired slasher films of the late 70s such as Halloween (1978) in which a young Michael Myers brutally murders his sister, and then later on goes on a rampant killing spree of pretty teenage girls. Way before Twilight-obsessed teeny-boppers made it cool, the vampire figure remerged in the mid 1980s as a phenomenon many critics have associated with the age of AIDS, reckless sex and drug use. The Hunger (1983) stared glam-rocker David Bowie and French model Catherine Deneuve as sex-crazed, power-hungry vampires who are locked in an erotic bisexual triangle with young, doe-eyed Susan Sarandon, who is quickly infected with the vampires “disease” and now must come to terms with her incurable disease, and being ostracized from society. The 1990s marked the Hollywood debut of gory, Italian-style detective drama-American-giallo and revitalized sexual violence in the workplace, an example being Silence of the Lambs (1991) and later, American Psycho (2000). American Psycho rang in the new millennium and a new attitude towards contemporary cinema. Sure, there are other examples, but American Psycho, staring a young, sophisticated devilishly handsome Christian Bale made murder and acts of early forms of "torture porn" look, dare I say it, cool. He has sex with beautiful women, smiling to himself in the mirror all the while listening to Phil Collins hits and then succeeds to kill them. He even chases one with a chainsaw, and he's so badass, he's naked while doing so. Although American Psycho is not truly deemed as a "horror" movie, it became one of the first to water down the horror genre. Sure, it's scary to think, you have sex with a young handsome man, and he might just kill you, but the guilty fun in watching American Psycho is seeing these dumb girls falling for Bateman's charms and you get to sit and watch...perhaps even squeal in guilt ridden delight. We delight in the torture of others on the silver screen, cause it's "safe". It's that deep dark place we like to travel to and in the end we're all just as voyeuristic as that guy who was recently caught for placing video cameras in department stores. Sure, he should have been punished, but I'm sure there's one or two of you thinking you'd like to see the tapes.
In our post 9/11 world, and this new generation of Z (as in Zombies!, that's for you Jini!), nothing scares us anymore. We crave horror movies only for the pure entertainment of seeing torture done onto others. Rebel and protest against it. Shake your head at me if you must. But look at your local movie theatre's marquee. Final Destination 5? Fright Night? (Screw you Edward, Colin Farrel is going to rip your head off!) Even Conan the Barbarian to some extent (the tagline is Conan seeks revenge for the slaughter of his village).
The point is nothing scare us anymore. Possessions of the devil? He doesn't exist and if he does he's been mass-marketed to the point of a punchline. (And seriously, Keyser Soze was the last to make him cool) Michael Myer? We experienced the modern bogeyman when the twin towers went down and our bloodlust as a society began. He's got nothing on me and he runs slow. I've got roller skates...Michael Myers is my bitch.
Um..back to the point... This particular generation is immune to any of the simple frights and delights that you or I may have grown up with. Speak of The Exorcist to your parents and they may chuckle with a small axietiy. Let a ten year old watch it and they'll laugh maybe cheer for the torture of young Linda Blair. "She deserved it!" They might say. Amyiville Horror? Damn, all my friends want to live in a haunted house.
We now crave the satisfaction of watching the torture of others, cause we can't and won't, out of extreme moral decency do it realistically on our own (and we never should.) So we have movies like Saw and Hostel and any of those recent "torture porn" titles that we carelessly continue to support with our ten dollars and change. (and don't forget the junior mints and large popcorn!) to feed this desire to be the badass. To fight fear with violence, because after 9/11 who didn't want to go kick something? To some degree the carnal thrill is seeked, not the fright.
So, where does that leave us. How about Zombies? And where did they stem off from? In most cases-Viruses. We Americans love a good bloody mess, but we're also intense germaphobes...so you better pump some more antibacterial goo on your hands and get your flu shot from the local Walgreens cause nothing gives a good scare like a nice little virus to really inject some fear into you and that's where Hollywood is turning their heads towards for the new batch of horror movies.
We have The Walking Dead, a very successful and quite awesome show on AMC (AMC! Of all places!), and coming in September is this little jewel, (click above) Contagion, ("a hush, no it isn't! remake of Outbreak",) starting Matt Damon ( in Damon, we trust!) about an outbreak of a deadly virus, directed by Steven Sodenburgh. There is even talk of a remake of Stephen King's The Stand for the silver screen in the next year or so. (Yes, I said remake...they did a miniseries back in 1994 and it was awesome.) Even a "virus" had something to do with a crucial plot line of Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
Viruses are the new boogeymen in modern American cinema. Movie makers can no longer put a face to what tortures because we as a audience can relate. But give little Dakota Famming a virus and, oh shit, we're scared. Well, maybe just a little.... maybe she deserves it.
Will try to make this a weekly thing:
I am by no means a film historian nor try to pose as one. I like trash just as much as I like the classics so if those which I name seem a little off the mark for you, then I'm sorry in advance. Films, above all, are about enjoyment to the senses and no everyone agrees on what are the best and what are the worse.
One man's Citizen Kane is another's Transformers: Dark of the Moon. (ugh...i cringe)
I do like to share my current faves though...and education is what you seek, then read on.
So, this week's "Five Films that should be on your Netflix Queve" because I said so, and that's why... :)
1. A Single Man (Colin Firth, Dir: Tom Ford. 2010) Pay close attention to the cinematography and shifts of color. Beautiful acting by Firth.
2.) Some Kind of Wonderful (Eric Stoltz, Dr: John Hughes. 1987) The "middle child" of Hughes film canon. Just as good, if not better than Pretty in Pink and Breakfast Club.
3.) Bubba Ho-Tep (Bruce Campbell, Dr: Don Coscarelli, 2002) Bruce is Elvis and is getting attacked by zombies. Fantastic tongue in cheek cult classic
4.) Legend of the Fall (Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Dr: Edward Zwick. 1994) Such a good movie. Pitt in his prime. Beautiful story . Excellent mature date flick.
5.) Barney's Version (Paul Giamatti, Dr: Richard J. Lewis. 2010) Giamatti was the underdog winner at the Golden Globes for Best Actor for this film. I wasn't surprised...why? Because he's amazing, that's why. And the film, although a bit of a emotional drainer, is very good too.
On my last night in Greensboro, NC, I couldn't quite get to sleep even though it was 11pm and I had planned to wake for 4:30am to head out on the road..yikes. So, I turned on the tube and found a Falling Skies marathon on TNT (the self proclaiming "We know Drama" network...yes indeed, I certainty do believe Charmed is all about the drama) and was pleasantly surprised to see a bearded, semi-bulked up Noah Wyle leading a group of ragtag survivors after a alien attack.
Is Noah Wyle, the poor man's Keanu Reeves?
Brothers from anotha motha?
Perhaps.
I remember young Wyle as the fresh faced ass-kissing nervous nelly, Dr. John Carter on NBC's ER who spent most of his time nipping at the heels of angry -as- a- hemorrhoid, Dr. Peter Benton. (Hartford resident, Eriq La Salle) and lusting after any available pretty thing until the sixth season where they decided let poor Dr. Carter get stabbed in the back by a schizophrenic and develop a narcotics habit. Bitter and full of survivors guilt Wyle was finally allowed to grow a beard and man up. He eventually ends up in Africa. Yeah, Wyle, you bad ass. I never thought much of Wyle, besides the fact that he was cute, and like most of the actors from ER I pitied their existence after the show's cancellation. And most did scatter to the winds of syndication and Lifetime mini-series. Wyle too seemed to fade into the nether-regions of crappy straight to video products or "Blink and you miss him" cameos in Donnie Darko and White Oleander And then he surfaced on the radar under the guiding wings of TNT networks in a successful Indiana Jones knockoff: The Librarian which due to Wyle not only proving he still act, he could also be witty, charming, goofy and heroic.
The movie was successful and spawned two just as awesome sequels (with talks of a theatrical work in the makings) Wyle was back, not exactly as Sunset Blvd. billboard material, but really who wants that? When the Hollywood life gave Wyle lemons, he made his own delicious lemonade. Falling Skies isn't Peabody award winning programming by any standards, but it's fun, has a great story-arc and the writing isn't that bad either. (just don't count of the special effects to blow your mind...this is TNT we're talking about) And there's Wyle in the middle of it all, with his shit-kicker grin and youthful twinkle as if saying, I'm still here, suckers.
