But it's the truth, try as I may
Maybe it's because she started out as this....
Yes you were princess,
frizzy and cute
But you're comic timing and the fact that you got to work with Julie Andrews
made me want to puke.
You were Enchanting as Ella as you sang and danced,
but really watching you, made me want to poop my pants.
In Brokeback Mountain, you cried over your gay husband
Oh, woe for you.
Your face looks like my Daddy's 13 inch shoe.
I tried to like you, really I did,
But I watched those children as they hid
from your witch like cackle on
the Oscars, damn what a debacle.
Even James Franco decided to get high.
Don't you know when it's time to say goodbye?
Become a zookeeper or a nurse.
Drive a freakin hearse.
Buy a condo in Rhode Island and
get really fat on Easy Cheese
I'm sorry I don't mean to be mean.
But really, you get to be Catwoman now too?
I'd punch myself in the face if I were you.
You're too pretty enough, you need to get busted.
What the hell were you thinking, to work with Kate Hudson?
Ok, I confess, maybe I'm a tad bit jealous and may have cross the line.
You have nice teeth, and I'm sure are very kind...
But seriously, that part in One Day had my name all over it
and your English accent really bit...
and your not worthy to touch Jim Sturgess' lips!
Don't you know he can really sing and dance
while you go and make another tired Jane Austen romance?
Geesh, if I were only you...
I'd find my Daddy's shoe and beat myself until I was black and blue.
For, try as I may, I really don't like you....
(Ok, I do like Becoming Jane, only because it's a great movie to put on while cleaning the house...and really, I'm sure she's very nice. I wouldn't hit her with a shoe.)
No...I take that back...I would hit her with a shoe, a very small one.
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