Fathers and Daughters

Untitled Zombie/Horror Project

copyrighted by Jill Luberto

PT 1 – Fathers & Daughters

It started with a headache. Beginning near Jake’s left temple, burrowing down into tissue and then stretching across his head, to the other temple, each throb like a snap of rubber band, producing small flashes of white lightening that seared through his vision. Jake had migraines like this before, but not the nausea that barreled up his throat, tickling against his tongue until materializing into a glob of sticky, buttery bile, the taste of filthy pennies and tar filling his mouth. He turned over on his side of the bed and heaved the contents of last night’s supper, spilling it out onto the sky blue carpet. The headache rolled away into the far creases of Jake’s skull as he fell back on the bed, his nostrils burning, his eyes watering. He wiped his mouth with the neck of his tee shirt.

“Kate?” He called out. There was no answer but he could hear the radio faintly in the kitchen and the shower was running in the bathroom down the hall.  The alarm clock clicked on and Jake slowly sat up, staring at the digital number. It was six am. He rubbed his forehead between his index finger and thumb, stroking the skin, a thin film of sweat washing onto his fingertips. He caught a whiff of his vomit and cringed as the headache returned, tapping against the bones in his head, sending Morse code of frustrating pain into his synapses. He got out of bed, swinging his legs wide to avoid the puddle of vomit, slowly seeping into the carpet.

She’s going to kill me. He thought as he made his way out of the bedroom, leaning on the wall for support, dizzy from dehydration.

The bathroom door was slightly ajar, a thick cord of mist curling around the doorframe, licking at Jake’s face as he shuffled in. Kate was in the shower, her form hunched behind the shower curtain.

“Hey, babe, where’s the aspirin?” He asked.

“In the cabinet, second shelf.” She responded, her voice thick with morning grogg. She cleared it and reached a hand out for the coffee mug on the top of the toilet. Jake quietly moved the cup out of reach and watched Kate’s fingers spider crawl over the ceramic tank cover until smacking them down in frustration.  Jake reached out and playfully tugged on her thumb. Kate blindly but with uncanny aim smacked his hand away.

“Knock it off.” She scowled with a short giggle, “I need my fix.”

He nudged the cup to her hand and it disappeared behind the curtain. Jake found the aspirin where Kate said they would be, and poured four small white tablets into his palm. After gulping them down with a handful of water, he took four more, hoping the high dosage would quell the titanic throb shifting up and down his brain. He threw the bottle back onto the shelf and then after shutting the door, wiped the condensation from the mirror, revealing his face, piqued and drained of color. His eyes were puffy, the crescent shaped skin under them were large black worms, sinking his eyes further back into his head.  His cheeks were thick with redness and his lips were chapped and cracked.

I’m sick. He thought. Sick. Sick. Sick. Shit.

“I threw up.” Jake said, almost a whisper.

“What?”

“I threw up. In the bedroom.”

“Just now?”
“Yeah.”

There was a pause and Jake thought for sure Kate would ask about the carpet.

“Stay home then.” was her reply and Jake relaxed his shoulders as he stared into his mouth, his tongue swollen, and a rug of yellow coating the top. An acidic odor seeped out from between his teeth, and he shuttered.

“I can’t.” Jake said as he leaned closer to the mirror to explore his bloodshot eyes, broken capillaries surrounding the pale and cloudy irises.

“If you’re sick-“Kate persisted.

“I can’t. The budget.”

“Fuck the budget, Jake.”

“My job.” Jake croaked, as another tickle rose in his throat. He clenched the sides of the sink, fearing another wave of nausea, but it subsided slowly as he took a deep breath and then another.

“You hate your job.” Kate said.

“No, I don’t.”

The shower curtain was pulled back and Kate popped her head out, her lips twisted in disbelief, eyebrows raised in questioning. Her long black hair was matted to her shoulders and her left breast peeked out from the curtain, wet and glistening from the steam. Jake was never so thankful after Lu was born that Kate’s breasts kept their full, rounded shape, nipples perfectly perched and taunt. Giving birth didn’t really seem to have an affect on Kate at all. She still carried herself like she did in college, long strong legs, well-defined calves, a cute bubble butt Jake liked to smack and Kate liked to have smacked. At her age of thirty-two, Kate’s face was still impressively youthful, dotted with faint traces of childhood freckles on her nose and cheeks. Her green eyes were consistently bright and full of mischief just as they were when Jack and she made love in a movie theatre on their second date. In the back row, during a Sunday matinee. The only other couple in the theatre being an elderly couple sitting in the very front row, their small shoulders sunk forward, hair rising from their scalps in clouds of gray. The man was lightly snoring as his wife munched on popcorn. Kate climbed over Jake’s lap, her jean skirt snaking up over her buttocks as she rubbed against Jake. He said nothing, his body tensing from the idea of getting caught, at this whole new experience with this girl he hardly knew, but desperate to know. He knew better not to say anything, not to scare Kate away as she slowly unzipped his jeans and mounted him, leaning closer and surrounding Jake with her mass of soft black curls that smelled of raspberries, and cigarette smoke. A small tint of brown sugar that reminded him of Christmases back in Vermont. Jake folded his arms around Kate, squeezing her bare butt cheeks, the shock of discovering she wasn’t wearing any underwear fully arousing him. She tousled his hair and stroked his cheeks, fumbling gently with the five o clock shadow on his chin.

“I love this.” She hissed in the darkness before kissing the top of his chin, letting her tongue flicker against his skin, shifting up to his mouth. She tasted like butter and chocolate and the top of her head gleamed like a halo from the light on the screen behind them. She bit his earlobe, tugged and then whispered,
“Can you do that…thing…you know.” She asked, regarding the trick Jake demonstrated after their first date.

Kate shifted slightly, pushing more pressure against Jake, to the point of slight discomfort. Jake cocked his head over Kate’s shoulder, and peered down at the oblivious elderly couple.

“Here?” He asked.

“Yes.” Kate answered, her voice husky, “Come on, you big pussy,” She teased him as she brushed her breasts against his chest, “Please. Or I’ll scream.” She said in a malicious whisper. Jake covered her mouth with his free hand and Kat moaned in response as he fingered her with his other hand.

“I dare you.” He said, flashing his own devil may care smile at her.

Their relationship, even after the birth of Lu, seven years ago had kept the spontaneity Kate demonstrated in the movie theatre. A relationship that was, thank god, healthy. Alive. Curious. Full of love and trust.

“You hate that job.” Kate restated softly through the shower curtain, her hand extending back across the toilet to set her cup down, “I keep telling you, you can find something else.”

Jake smiled. Kate was more than willing to take the financial reigns while Jake played Mr. Mom. Her nursing job at the local hospital could back them both up until he found a job that suited him, or finished the novel Kate consistently nagged him about.

“How’s your head? You look like crap.”

Jake shrugged his shoulders, and turned back to the mirror as Kate retreated back behind the curtain. “Stay home, sickboy.” She said.

Jake dropped his pants and tore the curtain open, rushing into water ten degrees hotter than he liked, but that was Kate for you. Kate backed into the corner under the faucet, playfully covering her small landscaped bush with a cupped palm and an arm slung over her breasts.

“You better not Jacob Cormier. Stay away from me.”

 Jack felt himself stiffen at the sight of his wife’s taunt stomach, only slightly blemished by a scar when she had to get her c-section scar, that slithered like a silver root down the side of her stomach.

She threw a nearby sponge at him, and it grazed across his cheek.

“Don’t!” She yelped, as he grabbed her, bringing her to him, “Don’t get me sick. Don’t you dare get me sick!”

She balled her fists together against his chest, stretching her face away from his. Jake felt another wave of nausea and burrowed his head into Kate’s shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut under the scalding water.

“Hey baby, you ok?” Kate breathed into his ear.

Jake grunted in response. He tasted metallic salt in his mouth, and realized he had bitten his lip.

Kate lifted his face away from the wall, balancing his chin with the tips of her fingers. She searched his face with her gentle eyes, large with concern.

“You should really take the day off.” She said.

“I’d like to but…”

“But what, honey? The budget? Your job? Fear of the big mister man threatening the very existence of our lives? Our well being? There are other school districts. Other towns who would jump at the chance of having you.”

“But Lu-“
Kate’s fingers cupped over Jake’s chin and she pulled his eye level down to hers.

“We’re lucky that Lu is at an age where moving won’t kill her. She’ll make friends fast wherever we go. Don’t make Lu the excuse because you’re too chicken shit to leave your job.”

Kate noticed the creases in Jake’s forehead form and harden, and the glum overcast in his eyes.

He was always worrying even though she consistently tried to reassure him that they would be alright. She didn’t mind going back to work full time if Jake wanted to stay home, take a swing at the writing again. She would welcome the change of pace. She loved her daughter, but Kate was a social bug, one known for never sitting still for too long. She needed work, like a moth to the flame, and she needed social contact. To go back to work at the hospital where real people thrived, would be a blessing in disguise. But Jake, if anything, was stubborn, and wanted to be the primary bread winner. Win at some ancient power struggle with his oppressive, hyper-critical father who Jake was always at war with, even during the holidays. The old man only came around to see his granddaughter anyways, and even then, silently chastised Jake for not being able to produce a male.  Jake would rather stand up to his miserable, cankerous father than sit down and follow his life’s dream of writing. His manuscript sat collecting dust in the den, under piles of former student essays and grant applications, those too curling and discoloring into a fine urine color.

“Jake,” Kate said kindly, “You know I’m proud of you, of anything you do. I will follow you anywhere. You know that.”

Jake smiled slightly and kissed her. “I’ll go wake up Lu.” He said.

Kate held on to him for a brief moment, a lost attempt to hold him close, to plead silently not to go, but he shifted gently out of her grasp, leaving her in the luke-warm water. Jake’s head ache tapped at the back of his eyes and he slipped three more aspirin into his mouth, chewing them up, leaving a bitter chalky taste staining his tongue. He put on his bathrobe and made his way to Lu’s room.

Louise May Cormier, “Lu” known to everyone young and old alike had turned eight this past December and with her age came a whole new world of questions, wonders, and possibilities that Lu would obsess over, sometimes exhibiting them in her room, using her walls and ceiling as shrines to her hungry imagination. Walls were saturated with homemade collages. Pictures clipped from National Geographic’s and Smithsonian magazines were used to create safaris of loud colors all over the room. One wall was completely painted with chalkboard paint and coated with drawings, words Lu would pull from the dictionary every day and lists. Lu loved making lists, of all shapes and kinds. From her favorite movies, to books she wanted. And then there was her massive ever-growing bucket list. The day after her birthday the list had hit the forty mark. By February it topped well over a hundred. Some were inspired by dinner conversations between Lu and her parents. Climb Mt. Washington. Attend a World Series Red Sox game. Others spontaneous and appropriate for a girl, Lu’s age. Ride a dolphin. Collect every doll in the American Girl Doll Collection. Get a puppy (highlighted and scratched in capital letters for all, including Jake, to see). Eat all thirty-two Baskin Robbin flavors. Others on the list, ones written recently in the past few months caught Jake by surprise, made him wonder. Find a cure for cancer. Travel to Sri Laika. Live with Tibetan Monks. Catch sunlight in a jar. Find my own religion. SAVE THE WORLD. Have a pen pal from different countries. Travel the world to visit these pen pals. Go to Cornell or Yale (Yale had a neon yellow chalk line through it) or Boston University. Work for the Smithsonian Institute.

SAVE THE WORLD was written in bright bubble gum pink and underlined three times, each line thicker and more dramatic than the last. SAVE THE WORLD would stare out at Jake among the clutter, like a spark in the dark, striking a soft chord in his heart. His daughter, wide eyed and freckled wanted to save the world. The desire, Jake was sure would fade in time. When the boys came sniffing around and Jake would have to sit on the porch with a shotgun. When Lu would notice her bra size expanding and issues of obnoxiously thick Vanity Fairs would replace the National Geographic subscriptions. Jake sneered at the thought. He wanted Lu to stay the converse wearing, baseball loving, bubble-gum chewing explorer of a daughter. He feared the day she closed her door to him.

Lu was already awake when her Daddy knocked and then opened the door. She had been up for an hour already, excitement flapping like clumsy butterflies throughout her stomach. Today was share day at school and while Jake and Kate had been in the shower, Lu had snuck into her father’s office and stolen Jake’s unfinished manuscript. He had promised she could read it one day, and Lu figured what day could possibly be better than today? Share day being one of the most highlighted events of the whole school year. Sure, Tommy Gervais had a pet turtle. Whatever, it probably had diseases. You weren’t even supposed to have pet turtles. And Yamilet was bringing in a rock from the Great Wall of China that her father got her during one of his many business trips. But where was the proof? It could have been taken out of one of the many construction sites around town. And Yamilet was known to be a fanatic liar. But Lu had her Daddy’s novel. His masterpiece that would make his family rich and they could buy their own RV and travel the world together without a care. Lu wasn’t sure that the novel was about and was peeling back the yellow tinted cover page to read when Jake knocked on the door, causing Lu to stuff the papers under her pillow. She threw her head on top of the pillow, pretending to sleep.

“Lu?,” Jake called in, “Time to get up, sweetie.”

She didn’t move. Lu knew what was coming and couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped from her lips.

Jake lowered his voice into a grumble, “You better not be sleeping, you don’t want me to charge…”

More giggles seeped through the blankets and Lu squeezed her body into a fetal position as Jake tiptoed towards the bed. He tried suppressing a cough but it overwhelmed him in a burst of mucus filled hacks. Lu innocently laughed and looked out from under the covers but there was no one was there.

“Hello?” She called out with a nervous giggle, “Hello?”

Lu peered over the side of her bed only seeing the scattered remains of the latest Smithsonian Magazine shredding to bits for another collage. Nothing else.

“Dad?” She said, barely above a whisper, clenching the blanket against her face.

“Dad…you know-“

“Charge!” Jake yelled as he lunged from the foot of the bed, hands stretched out in front of him.

Lu squealed and tried to scramble away but Jake caught her, tickling her under her arms and ribs, Lu’s laughter intensifying into short breathed hiccups.

“You left me with no choice.” Jake said, laughing himself. He threw the blankets over Lu, rolling her up like a burrito.

“Do you give up?” He asked.

“Never!” Lu yelled, her voice muffled, as she playfully struggled.

“Charge!” Jake yelled again, tickling Lu through the covers. Lu kicked her legs up but Jake pinned them down.  Small beads of sweat trickled down Lu’s back as she tried to untangle herself from the blankets but Jake had her pinned on either side, the air inside the canopy turning hot and stale.

“Dad!” She cried out, “Dad!”

There was a moment of hesitation followed by a wave of cold shame as Jake released his hold.

What the hell were you doing Jake? He thought to himself, What the hell?

He didn’t know. Never had charge and tickle been a scary game. Never had he pinned the sheet up and over his daughter, restricting her movement, cutting off her breath.

And now…

I’m sick. He thought, taking sharp breaths through the headache, Just sick.

He peeled back the blankets, Lu’s red cheeks and large questioning eyes staring up at him.

“Honey, I’m so sorry.” He leaned forward, arms open wide and nervously, and afraid she would cringe away. Yet, Lu came into his arms and Jake held his daughter gently to his chest, smoothing out her hazel colored ringlets. “I didn’t mean to scare you…I didn’t mean-“

Sick…you’re sick…

“It’s ok, Daddy.” She responded, her mouth against his neck.

“I’m not feeling well today.”

Lu pushed herself off Jake’s chest and looked him over, her eyes grazing across his face as her eyebrows furrowed with concern.

“Are you going to stay home?” She asked.

Jake shook his head, “No, baby, I can’t.”

“I could stay with you!” She persisted excited, “Make you pancakes. Mom will give you the bell to ring when you need something.” He voice dropped into a low whisper to match her newly formed mischievous smile, “We could watch Jerry Springer. Mommy will never know.”

Jake smiled and brushed Lu’s nose with the tip of his thumb. “I can’t baby, not today. Got to go to work.”

Lu pushed out her bottom lip, red and plump as a strawberry, a mannerism she learned from Kate. She crossed her arms and looked away towards the window. The morning sky had lit up nicely, the sun shinning brightly through the early spring clouds, thick and full.  Spring was in the air, and soon summer. Three more months of school to go.

If only, Jake thought, if only…

If only he could find the time and energy to write, to finish his damn book. What then though? Ship it off to some publisher’s slosh pile; wait a year for a rejection letter or requests for numerous tedious reedits? Years and years of waiting. At times, looking into the mirror and seeing the hairline above his forehead receding, resembling that of his old man’s and the deep lines carved into his forehead and down the side of his nose, Jake knew he didn’t have years to wait.

Lu continued to pout and Jake let her, giving her a quick peck on the forehead and leaving the room, knowing Lu wouldn’t hold the grudge for long. She soon would be in the kitchen making her traditional breakfast of pop tarts and a glass of milk.

When Jake closed the door, a clever smile stretched across Lu’s face and she jumped off the bed and quietly closed the door, locking it and then running back to her bed, revealing her father’s manuscript under her pillow. She placed the papers carefully on the floor and smoother out the wrinkled edged lovingly. This was her father’s pride and joy. The thing that would make him happy. Happier than Lu or her Mommy could ever imagine. She couldn’t wait to read from it for Share Day. Maybe Mrs. Rosen would think it was awesome and get it published for Lu’s Dad or maybe she would know someone who could help. Lu went to her chalkboard, peeling off her socks, as she went and throwing them into the mound of dirty clothing by her closet. She’ll get to that later, she wouldn’t let Mom see, or she would have a fit. Lu traced her finger down her bucket list until coming to a small piece of paper taped against the chalkboard. She nicked at it with her fingernails until it fell away, revealing the words “get Daddy famous” written in clumsy cursive writing that she hated to write in but was forced to, thanks to Mrs. Rosen. With a small swipe of yellow chalk, Lu crossed out the words with a single flourish. She took a step back, admiring what she had done, feeling a brush of immense satisfaction. Today, this would happen. Today, things would change.

Lu was smiling from the back seat, clutching her book bag to her chest as Jake eyed her in the rear view mirror. Her eyes met his and the smile widened.
“Have a secret?” Jake asked.

Lu shook her head, the small smile quivering on her lips, holding back something she was keeping. She looked just like Kate when she did that. Jake thought.

She was starting to resemble Kate more and more each day. The small dimples in the hollows of her cheeks, the soft curve of her chin, her eyes large and ever searching.

“Do you have your lunch?” He asked.

“Yep.”

“Do you have piano today or is Mom picking you up?”

“Mom’s coming.”
“Do you want to tell me your secret?” Jake pressed sweetly.

“Nope.”
“Alrightly then.” Jake said as he turned the radio on, tuning in to the local NPR news. Lu groaned from the backseat.

In front of her school, Lu rushed out of the car, sliding her book bag over her shoulder.

“Hey!,” Jake called out. Lu turned, her cheeks flushed.

“Don’t I get a…” He leaned his head out of the car and tapped the side of his cheek with a single finger.

Lu playfully rolled her eyes and bounced back to the car, leaning in and kissed her Daddy’s warm beard stubbled cheek. A strong scent pieced Lu’s nostrils. A smell close to that of a glass of milk that was left out too long rose from Jake’s neck, making Lu want to gag.

“You don’t look so good Daddy.” She said.

Jake merely smiled, “Don’t worry about me sweetie. Have a good day, ok? Love you.”

“Love you too.” Lu said before turning away and running towards the school entrance, her mop of curls disappearing in the fog of children spread out along the sidewalks.

Too fast. Too fast. Jake thought, Soon, Lu won’t even need me to take her to school. Soon she’ll want to take the bus, then she’ll want a car, then have her jerk boyfriend take her and then….And then.

All too soon.

The headache had manifested again, battering against his temples from within, rubbing up against tender fibers. Jake felt a surge of nausea ripple through his body and then he sneezed, a harsh painful blow of air and mucous that splattered all over the steering wheel. When Jake opened his eyes, he was sickened again by the sight of blood on his steering wheel and windshield. There was so much of it; Jack couldn’t stop staring, frozen in his seat, a small trickle of blood running down from his nose, over his lips. An impatient parent in the overly large land rover parked behind him honked their horn and Jake was ruptured from his shocked daze. He opened the glove compartment and quickly grabbed napkins, wiping as much of the blood off as he could as the Land Rover continued to lay on their horn, the sound piercing at Jake’s skull.  He threw the saturated napkins in the backseat and after sticking his middle finger out the window, stepped on the gas and drove away. Small congealed clumps of blood and bile still stuck to the windshield. After parking his car in the parking lot of Coventry High, Jake was relieved to see that although his car was sprayed profusely with his bodily fluids, his shirt and tie had been saved. The blood that trickled out his nostrils and down his face had dried just above his collar. He looked at himself in the mirror and shivered. Eyes bloodshot stared back harshly; his nose was bloated and red, rings of crusted blood around the nostrils.

The school bell rang in the distance; the first class of the day about to beginning and Jake cursed himself as he hastily slammed his jacket into the car door, tearing the fabric.

“Shit.”

Jake had first period off but the pressure to be in the school, way before the students, was a necessary measure if one was to keep their job. Administration had everyone under their thick fingers, and one wrong move, one slip could cost Jake his job.  With budget cuts and poor test schools, it had become a war zone between staff and administration within the school. It wasn’t about educating the students anymore. Everyone knew that. It was about keeping afloat. Keeping your head steady, and being damn well sure you weren’t next on the chopping block, by kissing the right asses and saving face. Everyone out for themselves to the point that you couldn’t even trust the idea of sneaking off to your car for a cigarette break during your lunch hour. Someone could report you, even if they had just been doing the same in their own damn car. Dog eat dog world.

Jake walked quickly, his head rolling with ache, as he entered the school, the halls vacant except for the few stragglers, skippers. “Hallway 101’s” Jake called them. Kids who spent the whole school day roaming the halls, making catcalls at the other classes, stinking up the bathrooms with pot smoke. A few of them nodded in Jake’s direction as he bee lined it for the faculty lounge.

“Yo, Mr. C. I’ll be in your class this afternoon.” A chubby boy named Tyler called out, his arm slung over a small, pasty looking girl with too much eye shadow on, “I won’t miss it, I promise, man.”

“You say that every day Tyler.” Jake managed to say before a fit of coughing raked up his throat. He dashed into the faculty lounge and into the staff bathroom moments before another fit of coughs shook through his body. He vomited into the sink, acid stinging his tongue, heaving nothing but stomach juices and air. With the last dribble of spit hanging from his cracked lips, he slumped against the wall and wished for his bed. For anything. For a hammer to smash against his aching skull, just to make it stop.

There was knock on the door, “You almost finished in there, Jake?” A voice called out.

“Yep.” He replied weakly. He splashed water into his face, the cold water remarkable against his scorching skin.

He opened the door and Denny Kapshaw, a small, rotund, fifty-five year old man whose greasy hair shinned under the florescent lights of the lounge, looked up at Jake behind large thick bifocals. Denny’s face instantly cringed, the smell of rotten eggs and vomit wafting off Jake like invisible licks at the air. Denny stumbled back, peering into Jake’s hollow face.

“Jesus, Jake,” He said, “You look like hell.”

“It’s nothing. Allergies.” Jake said as he trudged past Denny, grabbing the box of tissues near the tar stained coffee pot and slamming the door behind him, ignoring all the exasperated glances from teachers he had left behind.

As the bell rang for the second class, Jake could barely keep his hands to stop shaking as he wrote “pop quiz” on the board, his letters scattered and frenzied.  Students began filing into the room, their feet dragging across the floor, their book bags slamming against their desks.  A few moans echoed around the room. Pop quizzes second period on a Monday morning was never something valued among the student population.

“What gives, Mr. Cormier?” Brandon Ayers asked from the back corner of the classroom. He had opened one of the windows and propped his large quarterback body against the glass, sweat already gliding down the side of his cheek, “What the hell are you giving us a quiz on?”
Jake grinded his teeth, raking them over his bloated tongue, “The book I asked you all to read last week. Chapters five and six.”
”But Mr. C, you never said anything about a quiz.” Shelby Elshaks said, her whinny voice ten times more annoying than usual as she smacked her gum between her lips.

“You should have warned us.”

“Then it wouldn’t be a pop quiz, dumb ass.” Brad Conners mumbled from the front of the classroom, his voice barely audible. Jake heard him though and chuckled.

“Excuse me?” Shelby said, her head shifting side to side like a wobbling doll, “Listen you little kissass-“

Jake turned around, “Listen guys, enough please. We’re-“

“Is this going to count towards the midterm grades Mr. C?” A nerdy little fuck by the name of Gregory asked, “Cause really, this is ridiculous. “

“Yeah, this is ridiculous.” Shelby chimed in, twisting a strand of her gum from her mouth to the tip of her fingernail, “We can’t take a quiz right after the weekend. It’s not fair.”

“It’s just seven questions, guys.” Jake said gently, even though an intense anger was growing so fiercely in the pit of his stomach. He really wished he could have just put on the movie version of the book for the period and shut the lights off but the school…the administrators seeing that would have field day, “And if you read the book, like I asked, then you should have no trouble.”

He scanned the room wearily, his vision going in and out, as blank faces stared back.

“After the quiz, you’ll continue reading on to chapter eight or beginning chapter one for those of you who haven’t started.”

“Like SSR?” Shelby groaned, “What are we in, like, fifth grade, Mr. C?”

A few kids joined in and chuckled with her.  Jake could usually take Shelby’s mouth and give it right back with sharp, but carefully executed putdowns that would end pleasantly for the whole class.

But today, oh God, today was not the day.

“I mean, really, you should just let us go out on the playground and have turns playing Duck Duck Goose if you’re not up to actually teaching today-“ She continued on, popping her gum over and over again until Jake slammed his fist against his desk.

“Shut up you little bitch. Just shut the fuck up and take the goddamn quiz before I shove the paper down your little cum-sucking throat, I swear to-“

A united gasp blew through the class. Brandon whistled from his perch by the window.

“Mr. C…” Shelby said, laughing slightly, nervously, her cheeks flushed, “I was only kidding-“

Jake inhaled sharply, and realized what he had done, the blood draining from his temples, the anger quelling back into a dark, damp place inside his gut.

My god, what did I just do? Jake stared into the confused, shocked faces around the room. The wad of tangerine colored gum Shelby had been profusely chewing on fell from her lips and landed on her desk. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Shelby…I…” Jake attempted, tried to find reason to his actions. Never had he raised his voice or even yelled at a student.  Mr. Cormier was the cool teacher, the hip one you’d high five in the hallways, or let you slide just a little on the due date for your book report if you were stressing.

He brushed a hand through his ragged hair and looked over at Brandon who shrugged his shoulders at him before averting his eyes towards the window.

“Guys, look…listen, I-”

“Mr. Cormier.” Mrs. Philips, one of the fellow English teachers, a tall, lanky young girl fresh from college was timidly standing at Jake’s open door. She must have heard the whole thing for her face was very pale, small blotches of red dotting the apples of her cheeks.

“Mr. Cormier. There’s a phone call for you in the office. It sounds urgent. I can watch your class for you if you’d like.”

“Thank you.” Jake said before bowing his head down to the ground so not to have to look at his students again before leaving. Their stunned, disappointed silence and weary eyes burned holes in the back of his head as he left the room.

The school secretary held out the phone to Jake with an annoyed look on her face.

“No more than five minutes please,” She said, “I can’t have the line tied up.”

“Jake Cormier, here.” He rasped into the telephone, the cord curled tightly between his fingers.

The secretary wrinkled her nose and turned away.

“Mr. Cormier, this is Assistant Principal Mallory over at Widdel Elementary?”
”Yes? Hello.”

“I’m calling in regards to your daughter-“

“Is she alright? Did she get hurt?”
“Oh, no, Mr. Cormier, Louise is fine. It’s just…today was share day in Louise’s class and…did you happen to oversee her selection to show to the class?”

“No. I didn’t know-“

“You didn’t give her permission to bring your manuscript into class?”

“What?” Jake exclaimed loudly.

The secretary peered over her shoulder, her beady eyes flickering to the clock and then back at Jake.

“I’m sorry.” Jake lowered his voice, “What happened?”

“Louise chose to bring in your book and read from it in front of the class. Mrs. Connell said it was rather graphic.”

“She read it?”
”Yes, Louise said it was her father’s book. We understand how she much she appreciates her parents, but that is crossing the line, Mr. Cormier.”

“I didn’t give it to her, nor give her permission to take it I swear-“
“Well, for something of that nature to even be near the capable hands of a child...”

“Excuse me?” Jake felt the angry rise again, funneling up through his chest.

“I’m just saying, you should be more careful Mr. Cormier.”
“Yes, of course.” Jake hissed. This Malloy woman was pissing him off. He imagined her square head and sharply pointed nose, like that of an ugly sparrow who had slammed their beak into tree. She was probably getting off on this, telling Jake indirectly how terrible of a parent he was. How disgraceful he was.

“I will have to ask you to come pick up Louise for the day.” Mallory continued, “I’m afraid we have decided to give her a two day out of school suspension.”
“Are you fucking me?” Jake asked, and then cursing himself for the outburst as the secretary gave him a hateful look, shooting a painted fingernail to her lips, warning him to quiet down. 

There was a short chuckle on the other end of the line and then Mallory said, “No, I am not fucking you, Mr. Cormier. For the record, Louise is a bright little girl, who knows between wrong and right. And she should have known better than to read that book.”

“But she didn’t know what it was about. It’s not her fault. You’re going to punish my kid just because of something she had no idea about?”

“Clearly she has some idea, Mr. Cormier, if she can read about anal penetration and then explain it to a fellow student.”

“Why the hel, I’m sorry…why didn’t Mrs. Connell stop her?”
“She was in shock. Listen Mr. Cormier, there’s no point in arguing this further over the phone. We need Louise to be picked up. It’s only for two days in which time I’m sure you can explain to your daughter-“

“I’m at work. At the high school. I just can’t leave. My wife-“
“She was in surgery when we called and cannot come. We can leave Louise in in school suspension until you can come but-“

“No. I’ll…I’ll be right there Mrs. Mallory. Thank you.”

Jake didn’t wait for a response as he untangled himself from the telephone cord and slammed the receiver down on the desk. The secretary glared at him.

“I need a sub for the rest of my classes today.”

“You’re going to have to talk to Principal Duggar if you want to leave, especially so early in the day.” She said, her voice pinched and high.

“It’s an emergency.”

She shrugged her shoulders, a smile annoying smile across her lips, “You still have to check with him.”

It was beginning to rain out, small fat drops pinging against the cement. The clouds were spreading thickly across the sky.  Lu did not like the look on her father’s face as he trudged up the school steps to her. And she hated Assistant Principal Mallory. The woman’s tight grip on Lu’s shoulder was like the sharp claw of an eagle, pinching her the skin of her shoulder. The things Mallory had said about her daddy made Lu squeeze her hands into tight little balls, and her ears burn red. She didn’t know anything about Lu’s father or her family. While Mallory yelled at Lu, Lu had stared at the center of the Assistant Principal’s wide forehead, imagining Jabba the Hut himself was berating her, spitting terrible cruel words at Lu, trying to make her cry. But Lu wouldn’t break, wouldn’t let that horrible woman see her tears. Standing under the hideous woman’s shadow, Lu tucked her bottom lip into her mouth, nervously biting down. She was in trouble and she knew it.

Jake did not look at her, and merely nodded to Mallory as he held out his hand and Lu took it apprehensively.

“Mr. Cormier.” Mallory said smoothly, “Don’t forget this.”

She held out a manila folder, edges of Jake’s manuscript sticking out from the edges.

Jake grabbed it but Mallroy held tightly, pulling Jake close to her, her breath reeking of old coffee.

“Please take heed in my advice, Mr. Cormier. Children like Louise need to be taught foremost at the home in order to fully function in a school environment. We cannot have filth in my school and those who produce such filth will be properly punished.”

She smiled, a most wicked, accomplished smile that Jake had to count to three in his head so not to just reach out and punch the woman in the face.

“I understand, Mrs. Mallroy.” Jake said, his voice quivering on anger as he tore the folder from Mallroy’s sweaty hand and stumbled down the stairs with his daughter.

The ride home was uncomfortable and terrible. No one spoke, and the radio cackled softly with static.  Lu noticed a streak of red on the windshield and wanted to ask her father what it was, but thought better of it.  He wouldn’t even glance at her in the rear-view mirror.

The rain had broken out more steadily and the sky mutated from colors of gray to dark blue to black as thunderclouds gathered in the distance.

When they drove into the garage, Jake parked the car but didn’t get out. The garage door rolled down slowly until leaving Jake and Lu bathed only in the soft glow of the car’s overhead light. A few short rolls of thunder swelled outside.

“What would make you take my manuscript, Lu?” Jake asked, his voice, rough by controlled.

Lu met her father’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. They were dark, almost a deep red, the irises wide and unhealthy looking.

“I just thought-“

“You thought what, Lu? What?”

“That I could read it and Mrs. Connell would…she would like it and get it published for you. I thought I could help…you said I could read it one day.”
”Yes, but that was when I gave you the permission and not in front of class of eight year olds! Damn it, Lu!” Jake yelled, slamming his fists down on the steering wheel, the car horn yelping.

Hot tears began flowing freely down Lu’s cheeks and she had to bite her lip so Jake wouldn’t hear her cry.

“I didn’t think it was bad, Daddy. I didn’t think I would get in trouble. I’m so sorry-“

“Not as sorry as I am.” He grumbled before a harsh cough overtook him. He doubled over in his seat the cough burning right up inside his chest into his sinuses.

“Daddy, you’re really sick, you should-“
”Don’t tell me what to do Louise, and get the hell in the house!” Jake barked, “You’ve done enough for one day. Go to your room. Your mother and I will talk about how to punish you.”

Louise daringly peered over her seat to glance at her father. Jake rose up quickly, his face twisted in putrid anger, blood dribbling down from his nostrils into his mouth. 

“Get the fuck out of here, now!” He screamed at her.

Lu sucked in her lips, and bit them hard, trying to compress the terrified scream holed up inside her as she opened the car door and ran inside the house.

“How the hell did she know about anal penetration?” Kate asked from the kitchen, collecting the plates from dinner. Jake barely touching any of his was now lying on the living room couch, shivering from a fever under heavy blankets.

“I don’t know… probably one of her magazines.” He said, his eyes closed, the headache creating a large thuds in the back of his skull.

Kate chuckled, “Oh, come on. National Geographic did some exposé on what? The sexual techniques of the Aborigines? Sodomy in King David’s Court? I don’t think so-“

“Well, she got it from some where.” Jake said gruffly.